When the tears won't stop.

I should be sparing all those folks on Twitter. So much that someone unfollowed me, and unfortunately I did find out who that is. Yeah totally holy shit get out of my life. Not that I ever needed you by my side anyway. Emotions overwhelming, I don't know how am I to do all the appeals and whatever not.

Half of me thinks that if God wanted me to get it, He would have given it already. An appeal would be futile. The other half thinks that if God has forgotten me, then hey, why should I sit here and wallow in self-pity? The world would still go on. And I'll be that insignificant little grain of sand.

It is precisely, with God in that picture that I struggle. Had God not been in the picture of my life, I can at least say that if that's fate, alright, so be it. Cos fate doesn't claim to love me, count every tear that I cry, wants the best for me, die for me on the cross, that I'm the apple of its eyes, and so on.

But He did.

I just need a testimony to hold on to.

ONE FUCKING TESTIMONY.

Knowing You, I know it isn't something that is hard for You to do.

THEN WHY?

YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME WHY.

I AM SO FUCKING JADED AS IT IS.

If not, there isn't any difference, believing in fate, and in You.